maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
