We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Alive.
So much puke
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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