before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
