That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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