I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
