I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
