we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
