when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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