You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
