yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
