hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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