Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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