Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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