Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
