I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
