My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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