Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
