I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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