Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
