I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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