The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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