he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
