i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
