My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
