Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
