Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
