now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
