i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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