Can i not drive my cunt home
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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