pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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