shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
