Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
