man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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