I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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