You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
