marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
