Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The feeling are messing with the penis
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
