time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
