i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
