my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
