i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Be still, my beating vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
