My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
