when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
