At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
