so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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