take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
