You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
