Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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