He told me they were just razor bumps!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
