Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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